Spam – Part 2

October 20, 2011

Somehow, those silly spammers haven’t given up trying to post worthless crap on my website. I guess it still pays somehow…

Anyway, let’s take a look at the ones that really stand out to me, and maybe we’ll sell some Viagra while we’re at it.

“Отзывы о сайте Ваш диван 77. [b][url=HTTP://WWW.VASHDIVAN77.RU][/b]WWW.VASHDIVAN77.RU [/url].[b]ВНИМАНИЕ!!!-МАГАЗИН В ЧЁРНОМ СПИСКЕ[/b]
Здравствуйте, мэня зовут Рамиль . Купиль диван на сайта http://WWW.VASHDIVAN77.RU . Привесли его 2 часа ночи. Мы снимать квартиру , разбудили соседя , они сильное ругаться. Собрали диван, взять деньги и убегать. Но с подъемом они меня обманул , сказать что диван поднимать в ручную. А корсьежка на 1 этажа говорит что они его пихать в лифт. А взяли с меня за подъем, 8 умнажить на 250. Ребята молодые, лица страшные какие , наркомацкие и страшные и худые. Все время за ними ходить, чтобы не украли. Но когда уехали жена не нашла сережку залатую. Понимаешь??. Милиция не обращаться нет регистрации. По поводу дивану диван не правильный какой-та, подделка!!!. Все время подлокохники углы острые, торчит фанера, ночью бьемся головой. Не высыпаемся, очень твердые. Смотрели в магазине диван и кресла нашли софи , такой хороший диван там(ЗАЧЕМ ЖЕНА ЗАКАЗАЛА ПО ИНТЕРНЕТУ???). А Лика какая дешовая поделка. Ну зачем так обманывать, диван клинит, раскладываясь задевать задныю спинкую.. а похлокотник вылетает из крепления. Короче как лажиться спать разбираем мы втроем. Алах за что мне такое проклинание?????, раскладушка и то лучше. Вот так вот. Хотел вернуть, званить им, они звените не понимаем Вас, до свидания. Диван приняли, раписались – до свидания.”

I’m tempted to throw this into Google Translate, but then I’d find out what they’re really trying to tell me and the mystery would be gone. I’d probably also end up learning the Russian word for penis.

“You must participate in a contest for among the best blogs on the web. I’ll recommend this site!”

I don’t understand these posts. How are they making money by complimenting me instead of trying to sell me sex, sex drugs, sexy Russian mail-order brides, or iPhones? Where is the financial incentive in being nice?

“you’ve got an ideal blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog?”

The user name for this post was ‘Divorce Lawyer’. So someone named ‘Divorce Lawyer’ tells me I have an ideal blog.

I’m not sure how to take that.

“Our company has years of experience producing fake passports and other identity documents. We use high quality equipment and materials to produce counterfeit passports. All secret features of real passports are carefully duplicated for our falsified documents.

To get further more detailed information about our high quality fake passports/driving licenses/id cards please visit our website:

http://www.falsedocuments.cc /ht tp:/ /w ww.falsedocuments .cc

[b]To order our fake documents please send your enquiries to our E-mail:[/b]

[u]General support:[/u] support@falsedocuments.cc

[u]Technical support:[/u] tech@falsedocuments.cc “

Seriously? Fake passports? Advertised on the web? At a site called falsedocuments.com?

Crazy.

I’m willing to bet this site is just a redirect to FBI.org, looking for people dumb enough to try this. If so, they’d be using the same trick Patrick and I once thought of, although our site was going to be called www.midgetrape.com.

“you could have an important blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog?”

He’s back, and now he’s called ‘Marvel vs Capcom.’

“Hi, i simply wanted to come here to show you about a very cheap service that posts comments like this on millions of WordPress blogs. Exactly why you may ask, well you may wish to sell something and target webmasters or simply just increase the amount of backlinks your web site has that will improve your Google rankins which will then bring your web site more visitors and money.Canada Goose Outlet,Canada Goose Coats,Canada Goose Jackets”

At least he’s honest about his spamming. It’s probably the Canadian in him.

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Standard porn stuff. It took a while to get to this one. I was getting worried that the porn spammers were starting to ignore me. I’d have felt pretty lonely if that happened.

“very nice post, i certainly love this website, keep on it.Canada Goose,Canada Goose Outlet,”

Hey! I know you!

“Tell me i’m a good person
my favorite set of numbers 187209458340011″

Ummmmmm, that ALMOST looks like a credit card number.

“Back in the days of old survival was such a struggle Im sure a day of celebration was sorely looked forward to by all”

I think in the old days, surviving was looked forward to by all.

“Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website just before but following searching by way of a few of the article I recognized it is new to me. Anyways, I’m surely pleased I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back again usually!”

Thank you, FreeiPhone5Guy!

“Hello Ive been following your weblog for a long time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Dallas Tx Just wanted to”

Your courage is an inspiration to us all.

“I accept as true with the author that we want to share the knowledge we gain!”

I don’t know what this means, but the poster’s name is coed sologirl, which is sneakily sexy, so she made the list.

“Would you be fascinated about exchanging hyperlinks?”

No I wouldn’t, random synonym user.

“Greetings from Florida! I’m bored at work so I decided to browse your site on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, very good blog!”

You almost had me, blackcoed from the sexboards.com

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You’re totally burying the lead here! ADD medicine makes you lose weight?

“A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey in Jeff’s neighborhood. “How often a week do you sleep with your wife?” asked the inquirer. “Three times,” Jeff said without hesitation. “That is once more often than your neighbor,” the inquirer said, writing. “That makes sense,” Jeff said, “after all, she’s my wife.””

You’re my new favorite spammer. I’ll be looking for more from you, buddy.

“I really like what you guys are usually up too. This type of clever work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I’ve you guys to blogroll.”

The sexboards guy is back. I guess all the sex is screwing up his grammar.

“My brother recommended I might like this web site. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You cann’t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!”

I’d be more inclined to believe him, if he hadn’t tried to post this on the Fourth Realm Prologue page.

“I’m impressed, I must say. Really not often do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining,I’m very blissful that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for one thing relating to this.”

I’m impressed that you used the word blissful.

“I like when you talk about this type of stuff in your posts. Perhaps could you continue to do this?”

I was going to shut down the site until I saw this.

“Excellent post. It is genuinely help to us. Its give us a great many curiosity and enjoyment. Its possibility are so amazing and hitting fashion so speedy. Its really a excellent article. It gives me plenty of pleasure and curiosity.”

I’m always happy to be giving someone pleasure.

“Hi there! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any problems with hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several weeks of hard work due to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to stop hackers?”

This poster’s name is ‘black assrimming’. So there’s a possibility that when he says ‘hacking’ he means something totally different that what we’re all thinking.

“I heard from a youtube review of the medifast diet that medifast was kosher is that true”

I think you’re on the wrong blog. You want www.jewishyoutubeweightlossvideos.com.

“I’ve visited many blogs,forums, but this time:How your fantastic forum is . It makes me surprise…”

Surprise who? or what? Seriously, don’t leave me hanging here. TELL ME!

“My spouse and I stumbled over here coming from a different page and thought I may as well check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward to looking over your web page for a second time.”

You and your spouse huh? How does that work? Were you both browsing together? At the same time? Was she sitting in your lap? I feel like you brought up the spouse thing for a reason, and now I really need to know.

“Hey there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to look it over. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Outstanding blog and great style and design.”

You know how I know this is fake? He mentioned MySpace groups. Like anyone still uses MySpace.

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Yay for German! We’re definitely a multi-cultural spam target.

“A well written post, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing slightly analysis on that. And he in fact purchased me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him .. therefore let me reword that: Thankx for the treat! but yeah Thnx for spending the time to talk regarding this, I feel strongly about it and revel in reading a lot of on this subject. If possible, as you become experience, would you mind updating your blog with additional info? it’s extraordinarily helpful on behalf of me. two thumb up for this blog!”

Your colleague bought you breakfast because of my post? So many unanswered questions regarding that scenario…

“Very nice, i suggest webmaster can set up a forum, so that we can talk and communicate”

Ummm, maybe you missed the fact that I have a forums page already. Maybe you can just go spam that. NO WAIT! Don’t spam my forums! Let’s just all forget I said that. Moving along…

“gas stations with hiv”

I like to imagine that maybe the economic downturn is forcing people to sell anything they can just to get by. Like, maybe there’s a stand inside the gas station store that sells used needles from AIDS patients. I wonder if there’s a good story idea in there somewhere…

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In 1936, the expatriated young and naive just-graduated British John Truscott (Hugh Dancy) arrives to the Sarawak, a British colony, to work in the Iban society. The beautiful Selima (Jessica Alba) is assigned to be his “sleeping dictionary”, to live and sleep with him and teach him the language and habits of the locals. The reluctant John and Selima fall in love for each other in a forbidden romance.”

I don’t remember either of these movies. Jessica Alba as a sleeping dictionary? And why is John reluctant to fall in love with Jessica Alba? This whole premise just became unbelievable to me.

“Why is it I always really feel like you do?”

Why do I feel you like I do?

Wait… what?

“I genuinely handle about my pet , I conceive this site will help me find out whats good for them, so I book-marked .”

I can honestly say that we have NOTHING on this site that will help you ‘handle about’ with your pet.

“Would you be interested in exchanging links? “

Is that like exchanging STDs? Because it sounds like you’re talking about STDs.

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I was really enjoying your spam post, too, right up until I saw that you use Internet Explorer. Then you lost all credibility.

It’s an excellent visual and musical adventure: a cross between Inception, Labyrinth, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

Greatest. Movie. Ever.

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This is either some unrecognizable language, or the spambot’s 2-year-old kid was pounding on the keyboard and then accidentally hit Send.

Once I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new feedback are added- checkbox and now every time a remark is added I get four emails with the same comment. Is there any way you can take away me from that service? Thanks!

WAIT!

Wait wait wait…

You’re accusing ME of spamming YOU?

In the words of Bill Simmons, these are my spammers.

Tagged with: Spam • Top Pick